Leaving Behind~
Many talk about the feeling of being left behind, the feeling of being lost, the feeling of isolation, feeling of not having anyone there to talk to, to confide in, to laugh with. Have you ever thought of the feeling of leaving behind someone? Either to the greener pastures, or the reddish mountains(sorry of my lack of vocab) ? That feeling, is in my opinion, as torturing, as painful as the feeling of being left behind. On Monday, i learnt that i will get posted out of my current unit, 3 DSMB next Monday, to G4 army MINDEF(still pending on the outcome of my CO and S1's persuasion with G4 to keep me). First thought in my mind: I wouldn't mind to post out actually, from the amt of work im getting(very little, and im on workaholic pls), and the amt of politics my branch has. I just can't seem to cope with that. This may be a God given posting to me, to a better place? Wouldn't know yet. Second thought: I'll be leaving behind a few good men. Although my appointment does not enable me to chiong sua and be some garang pc in the field, the kind of battle that we are fighting in the admin department is also not a stroll in the park. In fact, it might be even worse, given that the battle we fight is continuous ,without air to breathe at times. The pple that have battled for me and with me during our most difficult times. Pple like Puang (not Tuang) who is always there to provide support and always worrying, at times unecessarily, but more often than not, meant good, who single handedly gao tim the bn's PDS stuff. Not to forget James, the trustworthy right handman, having a brain of Pentium Z equivalent(coming out in the year 2040), doing things at lightning speed, making the impossible possible, and never saying no to anything. Chan, James understudy, who is not undergoin artillery fire, but taking it all like a man(although James and i get some of the repercussions). My hats off to all of them. Without them, life in my present unit would certainly be dull and monotonous. Now, i'll have to leave them behind, to move on. Unbearable, but manageable.(am i contradicting myself?). G4 army, here i come.
No man gets left behind
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Monday, September 26, 2005
The Beginning of the End~
Luke 21:25-26 says,
"There will be signs in the sun, moon and stars. On the earth, nations will be in anguish and perplexity at the roaring and tossing of the sea. Men will faint from terror, apprehensive of what is coming on the world for the heavenly bodies will be shaken."
Luke 21:25-26 says,
"There will be signs in the sun, moon and stars. On the earth, nations will be in anguish and perplexity at the roaring and tossing of the sea. Men will faint from terror, apprehensive of what is coming on the world for the heavenly bodies will be shaken."
Friday, September 23, 2005
Busy~
Life has been quite busy recently. To a certain extent, busy in a good way.At least im spending my time fruitfully, rather than wasting it away in front of the television or the computer. Not saying that watching tv or surfing the net is wasting time. But in fact i think watching television can be quite informative and eye opening. Especially with the wide variety of programs we have on cable television these days. Well, anyway just finished SAFSA training, had a feeling of what its like to slowly get back from scratch, from the 2 weeks of laying off from any physical activity after AHM( i was just exhausted from all the running). Going for a church 24 hour prayer renewal tonight, where my small group will be staying over in church until tomorrow 8pm! And then will be catching up with Sarah Pang, my fellow RJBT Captain. Well, she's one of the few gals that is in the same frequency as i am, and really feel comfortable working and talking with her. Haven't met up for some time, hence the meeting.
B-U-S-Y- Busy Under Satan's Yoke??
Life has been quite busy recently. To a certain extent, busy in a good way.At least im spending my time fruitfully, rather than wasting it away in front of the television or the computer. Not saying that watching tv or surfing the net is wasting time. But in fact i think watching television can be quite informative and eye opening. Especially with the wide variety of programs we have on cable television these days. Well, anyway just finished SAFSA training, had a feeling of what its like to slowly get back from scratch, from the 2 weeks of laying off from any physical activity after AHM( i was just exhausted from all the running). Going for a church 24 hour prayer renewal tonight, where my small group will be staying over in church until tomorrow 8pm! And then will be catching up with Sarah Pang, my fellow RJBT Captain. Well, she's one of the few gals that is in the same frequency as i am, and really feel comfortable working and talking with her. Haven't met up for some time, hence the meeting.
B-U-S-Y- Busy Under Satan's Yoke??
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Learning Crisis~
Has anyone encountered a learning crisis? Learning crisis is(imo) the wanting to learn so many different things, but by one's own ability, only able to learn a certain amount during a fixed period of time. Recently i have this urge to learn/pick up a few things, namely computer hardware, C++ programming, traditional chinese medicine, furthering my guitar skills, ride a bike and roller blading. Suddenly felt very passionate abt learning all these things. I did some self relfection, and came up with a conclusion. Probably because in my whole teen life(probably childhood as well), i have only learnt 2 things. TO study and to play badminton. Devoted all my time on it, in my standards excelled in it.Moreover, having been trg in the army for almost 2 years now, with my brain rotting away, getting "haywired" Someone probably pressed the "Emergency button" to allow me to "wake my idea up" and get things going again.The "badminton" part of my brain is telling me to let it rest and ease a little Now, there seems to be a vacuum in my head that's crying to be filled up. The "other skills department" Its like the workers in that department have just woken up from a deep slumber, now just waitinng to get to work. Problem is, too many things to learn, too little time. Time is always the problem. At times i feel like there is too much time(the time inc pple keep sending me mails to subscribe to them), at times, too little. Hence, there must be a trade off somewhere. The economist in my brain , whois still in deep slumber, must draw the trade off graph and assist me to caculate the opportunity cost, for me to choose which activity to do, which activity to dump for later time slot, such that there will be learning optimization. If he can't help me do the maths and decide, i might have to call in the crisis management team. They're probably somewhere inside my brain..just need to find them. Crisis? Nah...
Has anyone encountered a learning crisis? Learning crisis is(imo) the wanting to learn so many different things, but by one's own ability, only able to learn a certain amount during a fixed period of time. Recently i have this urge to learn/pick up a few things, namely computer hardware, C++ programming, traditional chinese medicine, furthering my guitar skills, ride a bike and roller blading. Suddenly felt very passionate abt learning all these things. I did some self relfection, and came up with a conclusion. Probably because in my whole teen life(probably childhood as well), i have only learnt 2 things. TO study and to play badminton. Devoted all my time on it, in my standards excelled in it.Moreover, having been trg in the army for almost 2 years now, with my brain rotting away, getting "haywired" Someone probably pressed the "Emergency button" to allow me to "wake my idea up" and get things going again.The "badminton" part of my brain is telling me to let it rest and ease a little Now, there seems to be a vacuum in my head that's crying to be filled up. The "other skills department" Its like the workers in that department have just woken up from a deep slumber, now just waitinng to get to work. Problem is, too many things to learn, too little time. Time is always the problem. At times i feel like there is too much time(the time inc pple keep sending me mails to subscribe to them), at times, too little. Hence, there must be a trade off somewhere. The economist in my brain , whois still in deep slumber, must draw the trade off graph and assist me to caculate the opportunity cost, for me to choose which activity to do, which activity to dump for later time slot, such that there will be learning optimization. If he can't help me do the maths and decide, i might have to call in the crisis management team. They're probably somewhere inside my brain..just need to find them. Crisis? Nah...
Sunday, September 11, 2005
AHM was...
To start it off, i couldn't sleep at the planned time of 830 which i had the intention of the day before, as i had to wake up at 345 to be able to make it in time to report to Padang by 430. It was probably the fault of the chicken essence that i took before the sleep...dunno what else would have kept me tossing and turning in bed. Next, breakfast was...1 kitkat, 1 milkybar, 1 piece of chocolate wafer, two Jacob's Cream Crackers and 1 can of Shark's Energy drink. I later realised that that too, was a mistake. Got down to the Padang, ready to roar. Thinking that i'll warm up during the first 2 click, warm up was minimal. (Hint) Next thing i knew, by the 3rd click, i was battling a stomach pain/stitch, dunno which one issit exactly, the feeling of things coming up my throat, which somehow i managed to suppress, and pesevere on. Just Dong. 15km mark, calves started to cramp up. Now i had to battle both the stomach ache and the cramps. Had to slow down quite alot to prevent the cramps from climaxing which would produce deadly effects, for those who know me well enough.Somehow, i just kept going, and going and going. The determination to complete the race, under 2hrs 5min(so that i can get my 12 dollar registration fee refund) was just not dying, not burning out. You might say that i'm Kiam, but its a goal to meet. Moreover, this was what i have been training for. On my best days, i can definitely clock below 2hrs 5 min. But circumstances change. Situations change. So, mustering all my strength, and moderating my pace to ease the cramps and stitches, i slowly counted down. 16km.....17km....18km.....19km...20km..21 km...the boards slowly passed by. Finally, the finishing line came to sight and i just ran for it. Finishing by 1hr 55min. At the finishing line, the words in my mind was only "Wah kau, kam pua shack.."Well, to many pple out there, it might be just a slightly above average timing, but fer me, knowing all the difficulties i face, it's an achievement. An achievement worth smiling in my heart for.
"Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him."
-James 1:12
To start it off, i couldn't sleep at the planned time of 830 which i had the intention of the day before, as i had to wake up at 345 to be able to make it in time to report to Padang by 430. It was probably the fault of the chicken essence that i took before the sleep...dunno what else would have kept me tossing and turning in bed. Next, breakfast was...1 kitkat, 1 milkybar, 1 piece of chocolate wafer, two Jacob's Cream Crackers and 1 can of Shark's Energy drink. I later realised that that too, was a mistake. Got down to the Padang, ready to roar. Thinking that i'll warm up during the first 2 click, warm up was minimal. (Hint) Next thing i knew, by the 3rd click, i was battling a stomach pain/stitch, dunno which one issit exactly, the feeling of things coming up my throat, which somehow i managed to suppress, and pesevere on. Just Dong. 15km mark, calves started to cramp up. Now i had to battle both the stomach ache and the cramps. Had to slow down quite alot to prevent the cramps from climaxing which would produce deadly effects, for those who know me well enough.Somehow, i just kept going, and going and going. The determination to complete the race, under 2hrs 5min(so that i can get my 12 dollar registration fee refund) was just not dying, not burning out. You might say that i'm Kiam, but its a goal to meet. Moreover, this was what i have been training for. On my best days, i can definitely clock below 2hrs 5 min. But circumstances change. Situations change. So, mustering all my strength, and moderating my pace to ease the cramps and stitches, i slowly counted down. 16km.....17km....18km.....19km...20km..21 km...the boards slowly passed by. Finally, the finishing line came to sight and i just ran for it. Finishing by 1hr 55min. At the finishing line, the words in my mind was only "Wah kau, kam pua shack.."Well, to many pple out there, it might be just a slightly above average timing, but fer me, knowing all the difficulties i face, it's an achievement. An achievement worth smiling in my heart for.
"Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him."
-James 1:12
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
Asian Satellite
The feeling of going into a tournament, not being able to perform to the fullest potential, really annoys me. Not having enough preparation, knowing that hey, i can do better than this, i can stretch this guy longer, i can last longer, i can be faster, more accurate, more deadly. I have this principle that whenever i take part in any tournament or any other things, i must have enough preparation, do the best i can in the things that i do, to excel in it. If not, i will feel quite pek chek.
Singles, Kena wack by this guy called Hendry Winarto, 3-15 10-15. Doubles, 3-15 7-15 by two Malaysians. Sincerely thought that if Weipin and I had better preparation for this (he bmt I trg for AHM), we would have won this game. But nevertheless, it was a gd experience, and i really cherish it.
The feeling of going into a tournament, not being able to perform to the fullest potential, really annoys me. Not having enough preparation, knowing that hey, i can do better than this, i can stretch this guy longer, i can last longer, i can be faster, more accurate, more deadly. I have this principle that whenever i take part in any tournament or any other things, i must have enough preparation, do the best i can in the things that i do, to excel in it. If not, i will feel quite pek chek.
Singles, Kena wack by this guy called Hendry Winarto, 3-15 10-15. Doubles, 3-15 7-15 by two Malaysians. Sincerely thought that if Weipin and I had better preparation for this (he bmt I trg for AHM), we would have won this game. But nevertheless, it was a gd experience, and i really cherish it.
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
Smashing~
Call me wierd, call me dumb, but well, let me choose between a weekday duty and a weekend duty, i'll take the latter. On Sunday, i did my first duty as an officer, it was fantastic. Actually, i have been secretly looking forward to this duty as i miss doing duty, especially on New Year's Eve. Daniel, my pri sch classmate and ocs mate would certainly relish the time we spend together on New Year's Eve and New Year's day in camp while others were partying their hearts out. Let me give you a rough idea of how i spent the day.
0800-1200 - Xbox
1200-1230 - lunch
1230-1500 - Xbox
1500- 1730 - Surf Net
1730-1800 - Dinner
1800 - 1900 - Security Patrol
1900- 2330- TV
Smashing ain't it? Besides the fact that i had to skip church. Would love to do another weekend duty(maybe saturday instead), as i love playing the Xbox. It seems that me keeping away from games for quite a period has suddenly unleased the gaming monster in me on Sunday. Maybe should get myself one of those cool black boxes.
On top of that, morale was high in my branch for the past two days. We had BK for lunch on Monday and KFC on Tuesday. Contemplating to chiong all the fast food outlets we can get our hands on for the rest of the week to make the record. Work load was relatively low, there are more pple in the branch(1 new clerk just came in) makin in more happending.
In the TODAY paper today, an article called "Who needs marriage" caught my eye. Its about the problem abt rising divorce rates, men getting more than a woman out of marriage, ie to a man she is a free maid, cook, child bearer and sex partner. To a woman? I dunno. Men cheating on their wives and committing adultery and the answer to those, cohabitation or polygamy. Settling together with no strings attached. One thing that really caught my eye was something called the cohabitation contract. Under it, the male isn't expected to care for his offspring. Society instead should ENABLE a woman to care for herself, providing her with housing benefits, maid benefits, etc etc. such that she can take care of her child on her own. Which means that in simple terms, guy sees girl. Guy and girl make friends, Guy and girl have interest in each other. Guys and girl "connects". Guy literally F***s Off. Wah la! Child is born. If guy, he'll turn out straight. If girl, chances of her turning lesbian, high(according to science, don't ask me why) Didn't noe whether those who came up with the idea of the cohabitation contract thought of the repercussions it might cause to society. What happened to the good old principles of loyalty and trust? Honoring the comittement? To me, the most important thing in a marriage is honoring the two words "i do" to the whole load of things the pastor said like "love her till ya death, take gd care of her blahh blah blah....." . So let's say the government ask all Singaporeans to choose between the "cohabitation contract" thing, and normal marriage thing in a survey and the results will determine whether it gets implemented. Which side on it will you be?Just some food for thought:)
Call me wierd, call me dumb, but well, let me choose between a weekday duty and a weekend duty, i'll take the latter. On Sunday, i did my first duty as an officer, it was fantastic. Actually, i have been secretly looking forward to this duty as i miss doing duty, especially on New Year's Eve. Daniel, my pri sch classmate and ocs mate would certainly relish the time we spend together on New Year's Eve and New Year's day in camp while others were partying their hearts out. Let me give you a rough idea of how i spent the day.
0800-1200 - Xbox
1200-1230 - lunch
1230-1500 - Xbox
1500- 1730 - Surf Net
1730-1800 - Dinner
1800 - 1900 - Security Patrol
1900- 2330- TV
Smashing ain't it? Besides the fact that i had to skip church. Would love to do another weekend duty(maybe saturday instead), as i love playing the Xbox. It seems that me keeping away from games for quite a period has suddenly unleased the gaming monster in me on Sunday. Maybe should get myself one of those cool black boxes.
On top of that, morale was high in my branch for the past two days. We had BK for lunch on Monday and KFC on Tuesday. Contemplating to chiong all the fast food outlets we can get our hands on for the rest of the week to make the record. Work load was relatively low, there are more pple in the branch(1 new clerk just came in) makin in more happending.
In the TODAY paper today, an article called "Who needs marriage" caught my eye. Its about the problem abt rising divorce rates, men getting more than a woman out of marriage, ie to a man she is a free maid, cook, child bearer and sex partner. To a woman? I dunno. Men cheating on their wives and committing adultery and the answer to those, cohabitation or polygamy. Settling together with no strings attached. One thing that really caught my eye was something called the cohabitation contract. Under it, the male isn't expected to care for his offspring. Society instead should ENABLE a woman to care for herself, providing her with housing benefits, maid benefits, etc etc. such that she can take care of her child on her own. Which means that in simple terms, guy sees girl. Guy and girl make friends, Guy and girl have interest in each other. Guys and girl "connects". Guy literally F***s Off. Wah la! Child is born. If guy, he'll turn out straight. If girl, chances of her turning lesbian, high(according to science, don't ask me why) Didn't noe whether those who came up with the idea of the cohabitation contract thought of the repercussions it might cause to society. What happened to the good old principles of loyalty and trust? Honoring the comittement? To me, the most important thing in a marriage is honoring the two words "i do" to the whole load of things the pastor said like "love her till ya death, take gd care of her blahh blah blah....." . So let's say the government ask all Singaporeans to choose between the "cohabitation contract" thing, and normal marriage thing in a survey and the results will determine whether it gets implemented. Which side on it will you be?Just some food for thought:)
Friday, September 02, 2005
The Way Things Work~
In the outside world, as in refering to world outside army(pardon me for the small world im in), money and profit runs things. For example, if you need help to create servers in your office and make everything IT based, hire the computer IT professionals, they will put in their heart and soul for the job. Why? Simply because if they don't do a gd job, u can sack them and hire other computer IT specialists who are waiting in line. If you need to print loads of brochures maybe for advertising purposes, go to the printing professionals and they'll do the job Swee swee for you, suited to your preference. Why? Simply because you can always choose to go to another printing company. The motivation them is profit making, earning money, so that their business can survive.
In the inside world( i should think that most of you should noe what it is), it is the opposite. If you call for a meeting, chances are, most of the pple you call will not come for your meeting. Instead, they will send representatives who will most probably listen to your ramblings for as long as you take and everything will come out the other ear and taken to be swept under the carpet(im exaggerating). i hear that outside if u call for a meeting and u don't attend it, it's your own problem as what is discussed in the meeting will be materialised, so if u weren't there you have no say in the output. Motivation factor? Maybe its the fear of getting "punished" by personnel of higher ranks. Maybe its the wanting to "score points". I dunno, but one thing is certain. In the army, your job is secure. There is no fear of losing your job. There is also no incentive to do extra. So what's the point? What is the point?
Im doing Duty this Sunday. Feels a bit wierd since i've not done duty for a very long time. First time doing kena weekend. Actually not i kena, its i swop with a friend. DOn't say i stupid first ah. Its cos this Sunday its his birthday, and he can't find anyone else to swop with him. Now don't say i very honorable ah. I mean, if im in his shoes, i will certainly feel like shit if im doing duty on my birthday. Birthday suppose to have off one leh, now no off some more kena duty. ALAMAK!Yeah, so that's why i took over loh. Anyway he agreed to do a weekend duty for me some time later if i kena one. So its fair trade, and that's only if i kena one weekend duty. But quite impossible, honestly, since im in the branch that plans duty, most prob won't kena. That's the way things work wat...hor? Sorry ah, suddenly feel very singaporean, so use a bit of singrish here okie? Gd.
In the outside world, as in refering to world outside army(pardon me for the small world im in), money and profit runs things. For example, if you need help to create servers in your office and make everything IT based, hire the computer IT professionals, they will put in their heart and soul for the job. Why? Simply because if they don't do a gd job, u can sack them and hire other computer IT specialists who are waiting in line. If you need to print loads of brochures maybe for advertising purposes, go to the printing professionals and they'll do the job Swee swee for you, suited to your preference. Why? Simply because you can always choose to go to another printing company. The motivation them is profit making, earning money, so that their business can survive.
In the inside world( i should think that most of you should noe what it is), it is the opposite. If you call for a meeting, chances are, most of the pple you call will not come for your meeting. Instead, they will send representatives who will most probably listen to your ramblings for as long as you take and everything will come out the other ear and taken to be swept under the carpet(im exaggerating). i hear that outside if u call for a meeting and u don't attend it, it's your own problem as what is discussed in the meeting will be materialised, so if u weren't there you have no say in the output. Motivation factor? Maybe its the fear of getting "punished" by personnel of higher ranks. Maybe its the wanting to "score points". I dunno, but one thing is certain. In the army, your job is secure. There is no fear of losing your job. There is also no incentive to do extra. So what's the point? What is the point?
Im doing Duty this Sunday. Feels a bit wierd since i've not done duty for a very long time. First time doing kena weekend. Actually not i kena, its i swop with a friend. DOn't say i stupid first ah. Its cos this Sunday its his birthday, and he can't find anyone else to swop with him. Now don't say i very honorable ah. I mean, if im in his shoes, i will certainly feel like shit if im doing duty on my birthday. Birthday suppose to have off one leh, now no off some more kena duty. ALAMAK!Yeah, so that's why i took over loh. Anyway he agreed to do a weekend duty for me some time later if i kena one. So its fair trade, and that's only if i kena one weekend duty. But quite impossible, honestly, since im in the branch that plans duty, most prob won't kena. That's the way things work wat...hor? Sorry ah, suddenly feel very singaporean, so use a bit of singrish here okie? Gd.
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